Sometimes, a marriage simply doesn’t work out no matter how much effort you put into it. They say that divorce is a harsh battlefield that should be avoided at all costs. As the child of a divorce and a person with strong religious beliefs, I rarely advocate divorce. But there are times when divorce happens anyway. When it does you might need some help. Here are some of the biggest complications and worries that come with divorce – and how to tackle them!
Effect on children
This is often billed as the most important worry when it comes to a divorce. Some argue, in fact, that the negative effects on children are usually overstated. As a child of divorced parents, I can say with certainty that it wasn’t the child that felt that way. Of course, it’s likely that you are in more pain that they are but don’t discount the effects of a hostile environment on your children. A bad divorce and the resulting changes can cause a lot of anxiety and lasting sadness in children. Make sure you’re doing your best to make it as easy for them as possible.
Stress and depression
Divorce can often come with a feeling of failure. It’s certainly the end of something that (presumably) started so well. And regardless of the circumstances that brought you to this, that’s always going to be a sad thing. No matter how amicable you both are during a divorce, it’s not likely to feel wonderful. If you start to suffer from these things, be sure to look after yourself properly.
Who gets what? How much money is going each way? Who owns this property? Where there any properties, debts, or other assets that weren’t listed properly? What happens with the kids? Even if you think you’re prepared for legal complexity, something always pops up that takes it to the next level. Make sure you’ve got a good divorce lawyer to help the process go as smoothly as it possibly can!
Divorce isn’t very kind to your wallet. Of course, you can’t wave a magic wand and make all these costs go away. But it’s important that you make things less complex for yourself. Make sure you have all of your financial documents gathered and kept in one place. Get a credit report and see how good you’re looking in case you need to borrow some money in the near future. And make sure you’ve got some bank accounts in your own name! You don’t want everything going to a joint account where things might get a little tricky.
A toxic atmosphere
Some say that an amicable divorces are very much like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. They don’t exist. I’m not going to tell you that it’s easy to get along if you just grin and bear it. I very much doubt it’s going to be easy. But if things are really toxic between the two of you, then things are just going to feel that much worse. Do your best to make things as peaceful as possible. That doesn’t mean not being honest with yourself and your feelings or bottling things up. It just means that you might make things harder by continuing to have a hostile relationship after your divorce.
A divorce lawyer sure is useful. But they can’t help you split the most awkward asset of all: your mutual friends! Don’t underestimate the importance of learning about this process early.